On holiday overwhelm
I don’t know about you, but I feel like I am surviving, not thriving, right now. It’s the week of Thanksgiving and the beginning of my annual love/hate relationship with the holidays. On the one hand I love all of the magic of the holidays. Time spent with people you love, decorations and holiday cheer everywhere you turn, presents. But on the other hand, I’m already feeling overwhelmed AF.
I’ve already started to overbook my schedule. I’m already dreading the pressure I put on myself to fulfill all the social obligations. I’m already exhausted emotionally. I hate the crowds. I never know what to get people as a gift. And no matter how hard I try to avoid it, I’m always shopping on Christmas Eve. I just don’t seem to know how to say, “no” when I need to.
To add to all of this, my birthday is December 20th. As a kid, I loved it. But as an adult, it kind of sucks. Nobody wants to go to another party the week of Christmas. I don’t even want to go to my party the week of Christmas. My middle name is Merrie in honor of my birthday being so close to Christmas, but rather than being full of cheer I feel a bit more like the Grinch.
This morning I wrote out my schedule for the week. Like on paper. For some people that’s a normal occurrence, but for me that’s a very clear indicator that I am living with an elevated level of stress. And I kid you not, Ellie started saying, “um, um, um” last night because I said it all last week as I found myself in a perpetual state of mental fog.
It’s funny how life comes in waves. Two weeks ago I was eating Whole30 to prep for a CrossFit competition, and today as I write this post through voice text, I am preparing a nutritious meal of sausages and Walmart brand tater tots for myself and Ellie to eat. And she’s pregaming with a bowl full of Cheetos puffs (the white cheddar ones because they are the best).
Grace. Grace to myself. Grace to you. Grace to the holiday induced road rage drivers. Grace to my sweet Ellie who unintentionally triggers my anxiety on a regular basis when I’m stressed. Grace to the Starbucks worker who gets yelled at for making a drink wrong and Grace to the Starbucks addict who, because of their own internal overwhelm and stress, yells at the Starbucks worker (well, only partial grace for you, I still think y’all need to calm down and just be nice to people! I’m kidding… mostly). Grace to us all!
To be honest, I’m not exactly sure what point I’m trying to make with this blog. I think I’m just admitting that I’m already overwhelmed and I hate that I’m dreading the next month and a half. I don’t want to check out and fly through the holidays on autopilot, not really engaging with the people around me. Every day of life is a gift and I don’t want to wish away a single day, let alone a whole season, because of overwhelm. I know some of you feel the same way.
I also think I’m trying to hit the reset button and make a commitment to myself to not overcommit this holiday season. I need to start filtering invitations not only through the lens of, “am I available at that time?” but also, “does saying yes to this prohibit my ability to show up fully engaged to the next important event?” Family time is my number one priority during the holidays, so I need to make sure the events I say yes to this holiday season don’t take away from those special events that I absolutely do want to be present for.
So if you’re already feeling overwhelmed by this holiday season, join me! Join me in evaluating where you are. Join me in only committing to the events that truly matter to you. Join me in staying engaged with the people you love. We don’t have to be victims of this time of year. We can choose to take ownership of our schedules and ownership of our capacity. No more holiday dread because of overcommitment and overwhelm. Just Happy Holidays and a Very Merrie Christmas to me and to you!
